Self validating meaning elite dating san diego
If they have what you’d like, it can make sense to you that their opinion is valid and that if you listen, you could be just like them or at the very least find it easier to gain approval.
If you’re inclined to engage in a lot of self-blame and wonder what’s wrong with you when something goes wrong, you put so much of you into every situation that not only can you not be objective about yourself, but you can’t even be remotely objective about a situation or another person’s behaviour, or even their opinion.
You assign to their so-called objectivity because you love them or because you want them to like / love you.
God’s love and acceptance is the key to value and significance. I am convinced that you will begin to know God and yourself in a more intimate way as you mediate on scripture.
You’ll receive ‘feedback’ and even if you that it’s not entirely true or very influenced by what that person gains by ‘positioning’ and portraying you in a certain light, that unwillingness to listen to yourself, to make judgements, to process feedback and to work out what can be kept and discarded, means that you’ll go ahead and agree with them while privately grumbling or feeling aggrieved at the injustice of their assessment.
A very common example of this is when you already believe that you have flaws that ‘scare’ people away and then you become interested in someone.
Ultimately, your opinion of yourself is the only thing that should be able to make or break your day, your mood, your drive, your image and your life.
How you see yourself will determine your limit and how much you get out of life. I handled it by being a wallflower, hiding behind the shadows of strong, opinionated people.
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There are way too many opinions and too many voices in this world.