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How does he feel like the personification of why my Dad is not around? News reached my Dad that Aaron and I had broken up, and on the eve of my 29 birthday my Dad wrote me a lengthy email attempting to mend our relationship.

Though I was definitely willing to fight for him, I couldn’t pretend to understand what it’s like to be black or how he was interpreting any of this news. The email explained his feelings about black people as far as romantic relationships go and the culture differences from our own.

I left Aaron alone for a while both because I wasn’t sure what else to say and because if it were me, I would have wanted time and space.

About two weeks later I asked him to come over and talk.

Your parents are supposed to be the only people you can count on to love you unconditionally.

And yet here he was, proposing ridiculous conditions in order for us to even be in the same room together.

I had a lot of attention growing up being the baby and all, but my main source of affection came from my Dad.

The conversation quickly fizzled and I walked away knowing my pain was now his too and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

I politely responded saying that I appreciated the explanation, but that these were not terms and conditions I was willing to live by.

All of the key players in my life had very different reactions to me having a black boyfriend. My sister pulled away from me in a big way after this incident fearing also being exiled by my father.

My brother stepped up and tried to be my pseudo Dad by doing things like fixing my broken faucet and expressing his discontent being the executor of the will now that my name was removed. I think she feels like my Dad’s intent was to protect me from a bad situation, but also acknowledged that Aaron was a good guy and I was an adult capable of making my own decisions. They were surprised by both my Dad and Aaron’s reaction.

The reactions of my black friends and coworkers were the most interesting.

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After a few hours of intense conversation he ultimately decided that this relationship was not for him.

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