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It’s hard to believe that through all the technological breakthroughs, long-distance sex is still pretty much the same as it was in 1876 when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone so women could describe their ankles to guys over the phone. But phone sex can really feel like that if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Luckily, Lauren Rules, a professional phone sex operator with over 15 years of experience, is here to give her top 14 tips on how to have the best, most non-awkward phone sex of your life.

Although laughing through the awkwardness may work for some people, if it takes you out of the moment, try redirecting to an earlier point of the conversation. I bet you can imagine my warm lips on your penis right now.” Or shift the onus back to your partner with a hot potato-y “tell me more about what you’d do to me."Let’s say your partner goes from 0–60 real fast and starts calling you names you find disrespectful.

It’s important for both parties to understand that it’s okay to call a "detour" (detour is a word that can keep things moving, as opposed to stop).

Be sure you trust your partner and that he/she won’t weaponize them against you later.

Lauren says if you can’t answer quickly and strongly YES to the question, “do I trust my partner? Safe, sane, and consensual is the motto to keep in mind.

Treating phone sex as sexy little appetizing pieces can help take some of the pressure off.

Lauren says just like with IRL sex, it’s important to reconnect after phone sex with laughter and wind down talk after you both orgasm.

” or “What if we were invited by a sexy woman on the beach to have a threesome?

You’re not obligated to only talk about stuff you’ve done or necessarily will do, during phone sex.

Lauren says to draw out your words using soft whispers and sprinkle in a few playful sighs here and there while you’re talking.

It helps if you’re already turned on before you talk on the phone.

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