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"One partner can't do all the trying on his or her own," says Bowman.
But if your partner continually refuses to listen to what you need (time, affection, sex/physical contact, help with children or chores), or refuses to share his own needs, you're not in a good place, says Dr.
Infidelity is an enormous hurdle for a marriage to overcome, but just ending the affair is not enough, says Kaye.
For a marriage to fully get past adultery, the unfaithful half of the couple cannot maintain a "friendship" with the former lover.
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both of you is spending all your time at work, with friends, online—and if feels like a relief not to be with each other—it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage."Some marriages encounter damaging, seemingly insurmountable problems—such as infidelity, the loss of a close family member, or a long sexual drought—and rebound from them.
But, says Alisa Bowman, author of , if one spouse repeatedly brings up an issue, asks for help, and makes it clear that the marriage will not last unless they both commit to solving it, and the other spouse refuses to go along, the marriage is in trouble.