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She adds: “In most films, bisexual men have either been killed, suicided, or been killers. Very few films, and only recently has film begun to explore polyamory and bisexuality, and women in relationships with bisexual men, in a more positive and varied light." However, it would be a mistake to paint relationships between bisexual men and women as black and white utopias.
Society, the media, counselling services, and schools tend to 'erase' their relationships by grouping bisexuality within the gay or straight binary; or forget altogether that bisexual men and their partners are of all ages, ethnicities, countries, classes, she explains.
You see a carnel desire and someone with whom you want to explore your insatiable black girl fetish. Because when you sexualise us we can’t help but wonder how much longer you’ll stick around after you get tired of the pigment of our skin. Because when you sexualise us you are damaging our spirit. You are instilling an insecurity in us about something that we should be proud of. Because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that we will never amount to anything more than a checklist, a conquest, a tool. It’s a very high number.’ She says that she’s had women contacting her off the back of her post, saying that they’ve experienced the same thing.
‘I’ve had it from a number of people – maybe seven or eight out of 10 men will comment on the fact I’m black.
I just don’t want to hear about it.’ “Another older feminist independent woman said to her partner, ‘You’ve been so awesome to me. Just come and visit me periodically.’” And even among men who were out and active members of the LGBT community, misogyny lingered.
In one case, a bisexual man made it clear he would be seeing other men but banned her from dating anyone else and confined her to their home to take care of their children. That’s what contributed to an unhealthy relationship,” she says.